Mugalomaniac.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Singapore Junior College

Anyone heard the news a couple of days ago? They're building a new JC! Its said to be based on the popular and highly successful business model of the Singapore economy. It's goal is also to be one of the top institutions, like Singapore herself is one of the most developed countries. The new JC will encompass many new designs and initiatives, to be further elaborated on...

A Clean and Green Environment
The campus will be constructed on a large plot of land specially set aside for this purpose. Greenery and nature will be a key part of the design, and is also symbolic of Singapore's clean and green nature. Nature will be prominent in this architecture, and the buildings will be pure white, as is the school uniform, to signify purity and a fount of clear knowledge. The grounds will involve sculpted gardens and recreational grounds for students to relax.

Quick and Efficient Transport System
There are paths linking all the buildings together, but the size of the campus also means students will need a quick and effective transport system to get around campus quickly. This resulted in the production of the MST (Mass Student Transit system), a series of underground light trains connecting block to block. This is the first time an educational system has implemented a transport plan of such detail. Operation is contracted to an external contractor, possibly, Super Transport Service (STS). To offset the cost, the students will pay for a trip using their EZ-link card, or buy a on-campus concession card. The price will be determined by the operator and linked to external prices, so a ride from Block Academic Excellence to Block Economic Growth may cost $0.45 or or more.

Alternative Transport
For more well-off students, they may purchase a bicycle from the school. However, only proper school-approved and licensed bicycles are allowed to be ridden on campus. Failure to do so may result in a impound or fine. The school offers a wide variety of 2 wheeled pure white bicycles for transport. This is so approved bicycles can be distinguished. They are sold at market prices, but to prevent possible congestion of the bicycle paths, they will impose a compulsory COE bidding system and bicycle path tax on purchases.

Traffic Management
Some area of schools may experience congestion at certain times, so the management has adapted an ingenious system to regulate human traffic flow. They will be installing EZ-link Deduction Point (EDP) gantries at the entrances to the school hall and canteen. They will be activated at peak hours such at assembly, and recess or lunch breaks. The gantrys deduct $1 from each EZ-link card that passes through it. Students who wish to park at the centeen also have to purchase a season parking ticket.

When interviewed, a school official said:"We hope to reduce the severe bottlenecks and blockages we often see in today's schools, resulting in a great deal of wasted time. This means our students have less time to get back to their lessons and every second wasted is a second we do not push forwards our aggregate supply curve. If that doesn't solve the problem, we'll just keep raising and raising it because we know sooner or later, we'll hit a magic price at which everything will be solved. [smiles] And we hope that by imposing a $1 EDP charge on entering the canteen,students will feel the opportunity of cost of going to a bench to study is more attractive."

High Tech Campus
Everything on campus can be paid for using EZ-link, including toilet paper(which has to be purchased from the toilet attendants at $1 a roll.) Food comes from the finest gourmet chefs, as is the policy for providing the best for its students. Food prices will also include the GST of the current year, to offset costs. Wi-Fi access is available anywhere on campus, and enables students to download information at up to 1GB/s. One minute spent online will cost 20 cents, a small price to pay for downloading information from Wikipedia at 0.00000000001ms. Connections are monitored of course, and any student attempting to download anime will be referred to the Organisation of Destruction and Economic Xtermination of Illegal Anime Downloaders (ODEXIAD). Internet bills and fines are charged to their school fees.

Recreational Facilities
Like any other institution, the school has its own track and field, squash/badminton/basketball/street soccer/netball courts. It has facilities for almost every sport, including a 12 lane bowling alley, and a small lake for watersports, such as wakeboarding and canoeing. The school also has built two Integrated Rooms (IRs) in different areas of the school. They are fully air-conditioned and have facilities for studying, such as soundproof cubicles with tables and chairs for solo or group studying. They are integrated with facilities for relaxation, such as 4 Xbox 360 consoles, 4 PS3 consoles, 4 PCs, 4 iMacs, sofas and a pool table. Consoles and computers of different makes are in separate rooms to prevent disputes between students. However, as students are not encouraged to slack, entry into the room for its students includes a $2 levy, which is not applied to students from other institutions.

Innovative and Revolutionary ideas.
The school is also installing televisions tuned to Channel NewsAsia to help students with their General Paper, and there will be a large digital screen on the canteen showing the day, date, time, temperature, humidity, no. of days to the next schoolwide test, no. of days to the A levels, names of failures, and the current GST rate, so that students can keep updated at all times, and the stallholders can change their prices accordingly.

Another simple but highly effective scheme is the CMF, or Central Mark Fund. For every major schoolwide test, 20% of each student's score will go to the CMF. This means that if they score 60, their recorded score will be 48. This will help to encourage students to do better as they know success is not easy. Students may withdraw marks from the CMF, but the eligibility criteria are they they must be doing acceptably in school at first(originally at 55 marks, this was deemed too low a standard, and raised to 62, then 65 marks), and have one of two tests which scores need improvement. Students which do badly are not eligible as they do not have enough merit.

Another scheme is known as the Compulsory Annuity Mark Scheme(CAMS). Students must donate a total of 10 marks from each schoolwide test to CAMS. CAMS is unique in that only in the second year can it be used. It is a safety net in case students run out of CMF marks. Students who fail to make it to the second year will have their marks donated to those who do. These marks can be used to boost their scores also.

The arrival of this brand new institution is bound to make waves in the local education scene when it debuts here in a few years time. Keep an eye out for success, it just may be around the corner...

DISCLAIMER:This is 100% humor, no malice intended. I was simply thinking one day, what if I could condense the entire of Singapore into a JC? What would I get, and this idea sprung forth. In the worst case, it is to all extents and purposes a harmless spoof of the little gripes everyone has, like ERP, CPF, and whatnot. But I'm sure deep down inside we all know they're good for us. Right? =] Some ideas contributed by tak.

Labels: Singapore Junior College

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