Mugalomaniac.

Friday, October 03, 2008

the Daily Exercise Guide

disclaimer!!: this post is more for those who are now in (or is going to) NUS. nothing against other unis, just that if i dont know their geography, and i do not have a true opinion as to whether what i am going to type is true for them (you will later understand the significance of this) and thus, am unwilling to extend to the other unis... unless you tag and say it applies... =D

ok! now that you've got into a uni, you start having something called 'continuous assessment'. that means CONSTANT MUGGING!! (with ref to madeye from harry potter... *coff coff* ok, nvm, REALLY bad joke) and that means sitting down on your bum on a bench for long extended hours of the day. oooohhh..... the torture!! no exercise, sitting down, mugging, eating sleeping... wow! doesnt that mean you will gain weight?

FRET NOT!! for the following "Daily Exercise Guide" will help you lose weight in NO TIME! and you have NO CHOICE as to whether you want to do most of them! =D

Stairs Climbing
yes! in NUS, we have a whole selection of stairways from every location to every other location! study the map of NUS carefully and if you plan your route properly, you will be panting and drenched in perspiration by the time you reach your next tutorial/lecture. however, if you plan to do so, remember to bring deoderant along with you. dont want to climb the stairs? HAH!! dream on! you may as well say you dont want to go for tutorials or lectures. wahaha!!

Weight Lifting
ok, now this doesnt apply to EVERYONE, but hey! for those who loves their laptops too much to let it go (there are quite a number of these people, your truly included. =P ), you have to lug them everywhere! just carry them in your arms and ta-dah! that's weight lifting. too light? throw in a few textbooks! not challenging enough? fret not! grip your laptop and books and start lifting your arms up, front, back, one whole round for good measure and ta-dah! toned arms!! just make sure no one sees you do it, or they may just send you for a psychiatric analysis. or you can be the psych department's guinea pig. WAHAHA!! ok, another bad joke. NEXT!

Sprinting
ok, this seems really normal, but try THIS method if you really want your heart to be pumping. first, wait until you are almost late for a lecture that is some bus stops away. stand at a suitable distance from the bus stop that you will board the bus at and wait. ya. wait. then as the end of the target bus passes by you, start sprinting after it and yelling like your life depends on it. =D ok, maybe not the yelling, but i am sure it will help. =)

Endurance Training
*serious, ominous voice* this if for those who are not faint at heart. *switches to instructional voice* when you plan your timetable for your semester, put two, or even THREE lectures back to back! with FOUR or even SIX hours of lectures straight, i am sure you will be going *quotes chris* "must... not... fall...... asleep.... zzzzzzzz" *unquotes chris* (note: that's what he typed on msn, NOT what he did). alright alright, this is not exercise per say, but how can you endure a whole semester-full of exercise if you dont train your endurance? =D

Bus-o-nastics
never, i say, *drops voice into a whisper* never... underestimate the power of a bus. *cues normal voice* yes! dont underestimate these unseeming, groaning, mainly orange buses... you want a good exercise? hop onto one at peak hour! train your arms to their muscular best by either gripping tightly to whatever available handholds are left and with your other arm, grip on to your laptop with a death's grip. come on, no one wana drop a laptop. that's ouchness to the extreme man. after that, tighten your stomach muscles to maintain that balance as the bus goes up, down, round and upside-down (ok, i exaggerated on the last one) around the rollercoaster track-like roads in NUS. if you are lucky, you may even hear the bus driver swear while the bus rolls disturbingly backwards on the slope before it halts to a stop and strain forward! (believe me, i have been in such a bus. =.=)

Obstacle Courses (or foot gymnastics)
now close your eyes and picture this: you just came out from a lecture during lunch hour and you are staaaaaaaarving... you see in your mind's eye, THE canteen. (ok, biasness here, but i'd say the ARTS canteen. =P ) then you open your eyes and OMFGBBQZOMG!!!! the CROWD!!! and this is where it all begins! strap all your things tightly to yourself with your arms and your fingers (arm training!) and start WEAVING! side step, side step, side step, side step, side step, side step, side step... if you do all these dutifully, i am sure you will have burned enough calories to have a good meal. disclaimer: as for the last point, it will also depend on how far you are from the canteen.

Marathons
if you are afraid that you will still not get enough exercise, or you are afraid that you will end up trying to squirm your way out of exercising, try arranging two lectures back to back for one semester, and make sure the lecture theatres are as far from each other as possible. (in NUS, make one in Science and the other in Arts. =] i got such a combi. my luck. ) then for this one semester, you will be FORCED to gallop your way from the first lecture theatre, sprint to catch the bus (if you're lucky~!) squeeze in with 456364557328 other people in the bus, stumble off from the bus and gasp your way to your next lecture hall. of course, all that stress from commuting will no doubt help you lose weight. *sweet smile*

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER!!: if you choose to accept and perform these forms of exercises, the mugalomaniacs will not be responsible for any social rejection and "weeeeiird-O" stares from the people around you. all risks will be borne by the exercisee himself.

READ THIS!! --> special thanks to Chris, who is my senior, for his input. =)

Lecture delivered at 12:10 AM by taky