Mugalomaniac.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Top 10 Mugging Places!

Welcome to Channel M. For today's segment, we'll be showcasing "Mugging places: Lost and Found" (Not to be confused with Makan Places: Lost and Found =D) Throughout our show, we'll bring you viewers/muggers around the top 10 mugging places in Singapore, rating them on:

Convenience - accessibility of the place(s)
Amenities - You don't want the nearest toilet to be 500m away do you?
Comfort - Studying in the rain = no no
Style - Not your nearest kopitiam please.
(All ratings upon 5 stars)

Ready? Let the list begin.

At number 10...
Void Decks
Convenience:*****
Amenities:**
Comfort:*
Style:*
Total =9

Comments: Void Decks. Very convenient, amenities suck. Imagine taking the lift just to pee. Not very comfortable or stylish.

Number 9...
Outside MRT Stations
Convenience:****
Amenities:***
Comfort:**
Style:*
Total =10

Comments: Slightly better. Convenient, acceptable amenities provided your station is within/next to a shopping mall. Not so comfortable or stylish.

Moving on to 8...
Toilet
Convenience:*****
Amenities:****
Comfort:*
Style:*
Total =11

Comments: As you can see, your home toilet is preferable to mugging at MRT stations. Scores well in convenience and amenities, no comfort or style.

Up to 7...
Community Centres
Convenience:****
Amenities:***
Comfort:***
Style:**
Total =12

Comments: Not too bad. Roughly even scores. Pretty good convenience and amenities. Loses out in comfort or style.

And then 6...
School
Convenience:****
Amenities:****
Comfort:***
Style:**
Total =13

Comments: The classic mugging place. Good convenience(hell, you go there every day!) and amenities. So-so comfort or style, though quite popular.

Next 5...
Changi Airport
Convenience:**
Amenities:****
Comfort:****
Style:*****
Total =15

Comments: Not very convenient for those staying farther away. Long travelling time. Nice amenities. Good comfort and style. Popular among muggers. Good place to bring your mug mate here. You know, your closest mugging partner(B/GF)

Finally 4...
Home
Convenience:*****
Amenities:*****
Comfort:****
Style:**
Total =16

Comments: Very convenient (duh) and (obviously) good amenities. Not bad comfort, not much style. Pretty popular though.

Getting there 3...
Library
Convenience:****
Amenities:****
Comfort:*****
Style:****
Total =17

Comments: Pretty good convenience and amenities. Scores well in comfort and style. Very conducive.

And surprise surprise, we have a tie!!!

Macdonalds/Fast food outlets
Convenience:*****
Amenities:****
Comfort:****
Style:*****
Total =18

Comments: Very convenient, good amenities in in/near shopping centre, okay comfort. Very stylish due to its high popularity.

Starbucks/Cafes
Convenience:***
Amenities:****
Comfort:*****
Style:*****
Total =18

Comments: Not as convenient, similar amenities, does slightly better in comfort and style.

Who will win? Tie breaker coming up next.
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Macs: Highly popular. Less comfort, but quite affordable for the average student. Unfourtunately, queer and loud noises such as inexplicable whistling, and hysterical laughter may prove unbearable. MP3s may be required.

Starbucks: Slightly less convenient, very comfortable and stylish. But expensive. May not be so affordable for some. However, known to kick muggers out during high traffic periods.

Therefore...Mac's will be able to draw in more muggers, due to its relatively cheaper price. MP3s can drown out any distraction and increase the entertainment value. Hence, the number 1 mugging place in Singapore is...a Macdonald's near you! Plus the totally free no-strings-attached wireless net is a boon to muggers. There you go. Singapore's number ONE mugging spot!

Lecture delivered at 10:46 PM by -=[K]=-