Saturday, March 31
1:48PM
Eastern Wire Press
-John Decipere
There is a new discovery that scientists at the University of Middlesex have made. Apparently, according to their the latest results from their Department of Thermophysics, the existence of heat as an energy has been debunked. Instead, evidence have shown that another form of energy, or rather, anti-energy exists. It is called anti-thermoflux charge regenerating wave particles, or coldites in layman terms.
Heat does not exist; it is just used to explain the absence of coldness.
This groundbreaking discovery was discovered by scientist Michael Witz, and his team of scientists who won a grant in December 2006 to design a new more energy efficient motor for refrigerators. The have submitted their findings to the National American Journal of Thermophysics, and are awaiting futher testing by other scientists around the world. Witz and his revolutionary team are now testing how many coldite particles need to be stabilised to heat 100g of water by 1k.
An explantion of this theory would be for example, air-conditioners cool down a room by generating and blowing coldite anti-energy particles into a room to lower the temperature. When the air-conditioner is turned off and the windows are opened, these coldite particles are lost, thus warming up the room again.
All substances produce coldite particles, or rather, re-activate coldite particles that have acheived equilibrum. Some machinery, like the air-conditioner, produce strong coldite-generating and agitating fields that increases the rate of inflow of coldite particles and also agitate coldite particles so they will start vibrating and move randomly across the space they are enclosed in, cooling everything down by generating an anti-thermoflux wave.
However, coldite particles can also be absorbed by the environment as we are living within an anti-coldite field, produced by the movement of the molten core of the earth, also responsible for shifts in the earth's magnetism. This field attracts and absorbs coldite particles and stabilises them. The rate at which coldite is produced and coldite is being absorbed or stabilised is usually at an equilibrium, thus producing fairly constant temperatures.
There are cases whereby certain substances have much-higher affinity for coldite, causing continuous and inordinate increase in temperatures. Fire produces a strong anti-coldite field by producing a concentrated thermoflux wave, which absorbs and counters coldite particles around it, neutralising the cold and producing "warmth", or the absence of coldite particles. Some materials can absorb large amounts of coldite, thus greatly increasing the temperature of a substance. When the once coldite-depleted substance is left to cool, it will naturally produce coldite particles on its own, in addition to the coldite particles in the environment which will cool it, bringing its temperature down to equilibrium again. Absolute zero is actually generated by producing a strong coldite field so that the concentration of coldite can be increased to the maximum, which is 273 coldite particles per millimetre cubed.
As every good little child and educated student knows, dinosaurs are extinct. Wrong. There exists one last remnant of their majestic race that once stalked the earth that now walks among us, and his name is Barney. Bull, you say, Barney is a man in a silly purple dinosaur costume. Is he? Google Barney then. Go ahead. Can you find a picture of WHO is exactly in that costume? I can't. Labels: Barney
And when I Google Elmo, I can find the puppeteer behind him, and the guy behind his voice. Now, why are Barney's origins so vague? This is what Barney DOESN'T want little kids to know. Wikipedia Sesame Street and then Barney. Compare the differences in page length. So, you ask, how did Barney come about? Aliens.
Barney was a normal tyrannosaurus rex going about its own business, which meant stalking about, scaring the shit out of prehistoric cavemen and them taking a crap on the hapless cavemen before giggling and lumbering away. Then, came the saucer. The aliens beamed Barney up into their spaceship (it was a very big spaceship) and then inserted a mutagen in him. This active mutagen kept rearranging his genetic material, so Barney felt kinda ill. He puked on a couple of cavemen before lumbering back to his cave.
Meanwhile, the aliens were perfecting their genetic manipulation technology, so they were trying all sorts of stuff when they hit upon the color gene. Swap some DNA here, and barney became purple. Delete this little chunk here and his belly turned green (and Barney threw up last night's stegosaurus at the same time). Of course they improved over time, and they shrank barney a little so he wouldn't stress the tractor beam too much. (Alien power is expensive. Have you seen the bills of a small flying saucer? Levitation energy, tractor beams, laser(s), warning lights, anti-skid brakes, stereo, hydraulics, yada yada yada...) So, they found a way to insert telomeres into every part of his body, and Barney became immortal.
Kaboom! The asteroid hit, and extreme selection pressure was exerted on all the other dinosaurs. Barney was in the alien spacecraft for a usual check up when it struck. The alien spacecraft sheared to the left along with the Genetic Manipulator, which inadvertently vaporised Barney's sex chromosomes. His, uh, bits fell off. And that is why Barney is still alive today, purple and green, and infertile. And the rest is history.
Well, the aliens found a way to remove Barney from his physical form and tranfrom him into a sort of floating consciousness. That's how Barney "comes from your imagination". He can inhabit his immortal body at will, but that's only on tv. Then they gave him a voice good enough to sing, a mildly retarded intelligence (so he doesn't attempt to expose them), and made him look a little toy-like so he wouldn't scare the freak outta people. And THAT'S how your favourite mutant dinosaur came to be. Don't forget, he loves KIDS. =]
Disclaimer: Barney is under the copyright of, uh, whoever owns his copyright. This is an unauthorised biography of Barney's life. This post was written entirely tongue-in-cheek, and only harmless humor is intended. No offense was meant, and no dinosaurs were harmed in the writing of this post. Well, ok, maybe their feelings were hurt.
Your brain will implode and crush itself into a small wad of grey matter scarcely bigger than a pea. Then your head will explode. Or rather, most of the flesh there. Leaving behind a flaming skull filled with liquified mush that was the ex-contents of your head. Labels: Ghost Mugger
Ben did a better job with Photoshop. Note the pencil tip and the books. =]
Beware of a new illness rampaging through MJ. It's caused by the blockies! Block Test Syndrome or BTS is caused by the constant straining of the neck after hours of looking straight down, due to the unnaturally low and small LT tables. To prevent BTS, look up every half an hour and do regular neck exercises for 5 mins. This advice could save your head from suddenly falling off your neck at the end of the block test, or you developing a blood clot in your neck, causing your head to explode in a fantastic shower of blood and bone, or having to wear a neck brace for 3 months. This public service announcement was brought to you by the Mugalomaniac Safety Council (MSC) of MJC. Please watch the following advert for more information. Labels: BTS
If you think you or a friend are suffering from BTS, please contact your nearest lecturer for advice.
Now, as all you muggers out there know, we have to have 4 hours of protected revision time *cue holy music* on weekdays and and 10 hours of protected revision time *cue holy music* on weekends. We also understand some of you may be having a hard time transiting to a full-mugger mode, and that your mug engine seems to belong to belongs to a 99 year old 1908 Ford Model T. Labels: TV Show
Rather than to a Bugatti Veyron.
So, we being very helpful Mugalomaniacs have decided to summarise your favourite TV shows, so you can cut down on time spent catching your favourite serials to study. Unfortunately, we are not going to go through every episode of Lost, Desperate Housewives, CSI, or [Insert favourite Korean serial]. Rather, we will distill each show in to its basic components, like an empirical formula so you know in the end what its all about. We also will not mind accepting feedback from our readers, after which we will be able to create a more accurate equation for the percentage composition of each genre of shows, e.g. 20% weeping+10%affairs+20%fights, and so on. So, here's are the rough chemical general composition of each show.
DISCLAIMER: Before you read the following post, please keep in mind that it was written purely tongue-in-cheek and SHOULD BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. It intends NO OFFENCE to any specific genre, or its viewers (as I have poked fun at as many as I can think of), and this information within SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN AT FACE VALUE. It also does not represent the opinions of the Mugalomaniacs, nor of its author. If you think you have no sense of humor, please leave immediately or get a humor transplant. I'm sure you can find a willing donor. If you still continue to read and get offended, I'm going to say "I told you so..." To the rest, read, laugh, and enjoy. (And if you want to thank us, simply tag or just tell your friends about us.) As I say, Mugalomaniac is the best medicine.
Read the disclaimer. Seriously. I'm not gonna be responsible if you go postal after reading this post and smash your keyboard or something...nuh-uh.
Japanese Anime
Themes:
-Conflict
-Quests
-Friendship/Parties (The game kind)
-Romance (Sometimes)
-Oversized cleavage (occasionally)
-Oversized swords (most of the time)
-Impossibly beautiful/dashing/cute characters (almost always)
-Protagonists with vast unquantifiable amounts of (possibly hidden) powers
-Spectacular battle scenes
In general: Involves A Chosen One with probably hidden powers who will defeat the Evil with his (possibly ragtag) band of friends. May possess a sword about the size of a surfboard, and able to commit wanton acts of destruction with his unlimited supply of power.
Taiwan serial
Themes:
-Conflict
-Slapping (lots, as seen in ads)
-Business competition
-Family
-Affairs
-Minimal romance
In general: Conflict within family/families, involving business, or work. Advertisements are often chararcterised by overly dramatic music and montages of several different random people slapping and/or punching other different random people. "Piak, piak, piak, arbish, arbish, piak!" is often heard during this sequence.
Hongkong Serial
Themes:
-[Theme of show]Marriage/Law/Police/Doctors/Pilots/Bakers/Rescuers/[insert occupation]
-Family
-Conflicts, which are resolved
-Only to be replaced by other conflicts
-Affairs
-More romance than the previous
-Fantasy
-Martial arts
-Magic
-Monsters
-Celestial beings
In general: Stays on topic the most with each serial having its own clearly defined theme (usually job-based). The last few themes are from period dramas. Some drag on into spawning a thousand or more episodes,enough to keep you glued to the idiot box for months if not years, and would probably take up a sizeable chunk of Youtube space. An endless stream of crises appear, because without them, there wouldn't be any show.
Korean Serial
Themes:
-Romance (most of the time)
-Tears/sadness
Love triangle(I'm surprised noone has come up with Benzlove, a 6 sided love loop)
-Something bad happening to either the male or female lead
-Breakups
-Separation
-Parting
-Ancient Korea (anomaly, but I don't say that in a bad way)
-hot guys (rolls eyes. heheh...rhymes)
-hot girls (I THINK. Sorry, information failure here.)
-Sweet stuff
In general: Mostly on BGR, and hot Korean guys/hunks/omg lookit him omg omg *drool*(hey I'm JUST KIDDING, chill)there are other shows, like uh, this popular new show about a girl pretending to be a guy in a guys school(correct me if i'm wrong), and Da Chang Jin, show about cooking, healing, etc(we all know the rest because its very popular) set in ancient Korea.
Singaporean Serial(or rather, sitcom)
Themes:
-Family
-Humor
-Conflict
-Romance
-Er?
In general: Um, gee I'm honestly stumped. Some have been popular like PCK, (if you don't know what's that, you oughta move out from under that rock and buy a HDB flat) but no others have had spectactular successes. Singapore serials are more on sitcoms for the English channel, and drama only in the Chinese channels.
US Serials
Themes:
-Desperate Housewives (I guess its sorta like a theme)
-Crime investigation (No prizes for guessing who)
-Escaping from a prison
-Being stranded on a mysterious island (OoOoOoO...)
In general: Desperate housewives, sex, affairs, families, CSI, usual exciting crime stuff, but more high-tech than most HK police serials, Prison break, very fresh and original, Lost, another original hit.
There you go. Stocked up on the gist of all the shows you wanna watch, you can now go without television for the next year or so. And don't get all angry and such if I made fun of a genre you like. I like Rave and Bleach( Japanese animes) and I have watched my fair share of HK serials, so please, look at the lighter side of life. We must learn to laugh at ourselves once in a while. Cheers. =]
Labels: Econs for dummies
Case study: Jelly Beans.
A box of jelly beans comes in all sorts of flavour. However, due to human taste and perferences, certain jelly beans which taste nicer than the others are at a selective disadvantage and may fall prey to the human being.
One of which is the red strawberry-flavoured species of jelly bean. Because of natural selection, nicer tasting jelly beans like this are selected against, hence decreasing their population size. This puts the other jelly beans at a selective advantage as they are able to avoid predation.
Fig 1: Apparent lack of red-coloured species of jelly bean in the jelly bean population.
Even though these other jelly beans are able to survive, they cannot reproduce and pass on their distasteful genes down to the next generation because they are a hybrid cross between jellies and beans, thus rendering them sterile.
Remember back in 2006, we wrote about the negative externality caused by examinations? I mean smoking. Yes, smoking is bad for you, that's why we have that yellow box at MacDonald's. But no, we're not going to start selling you yellow duct tape so that you can box everyone around you up.
We've thought about it and we figured, instead of boxing everyone up within yellow duct tupe, why not remind them about the smoking ban. Afterall, smoking IS banned at bus-stops, kopitiams, toilets, lifts, etc. So, we've created a friendly reminder signage that can be used anytime and anywhere to remind ourselves not to smoke.
Go print it out and start putting it up now. Remember, smoking is bad and brings about negative externality.
I Am @ Youth.SG Special - Always Pay Attention to Your Kids
Hi everybody! The Plastic Muggers are back again! Labels: plastic muggers
Director's Commentary:
Did you enjoy this strip? Leave a tag! With J2 work piling up, it's harder to find time to do this kinda stuff already. I screwed up a wee bit in one pic, and didn't correct it that well cause I was lazy, plus I saved over the original . =X See if you can spot it. Halfway through this strip, I sorta felt I couldn't make it funny at all, but everything panned out in the last image.(To me at least...Not sure about you guys...)
I think maybe I have a tiny bit of inner talent of doing this kinda stuff. Not very well, but I'm getting along. I just read the blog of this 3D artist in Singapore, and I realised that actually, Plastic Muggers is like a vent for my creative expression, a channel for the putrefying gases of the dead 3D animator in me that my parents killed. Did I ever say I wanted to join the 3D game course in poly? No? Well now you know. It's too late now, either way. The only reason I use LEGO figures is that I have the same convenience and control I would over 3D generated characters in a program which I, of course, don't have.
PS and if you just visited today, take a look at our last post about students and computers. It's good!(read the reviews on the tagboard) Satisfaction guaranteed, or your...money back. Which is basically, nothing!
This should be a warning to all teachers. Student are like computers! Like machines, we have our limitations and break down too(not literally)! Please don't give us too much work. The following is proof. Labels: students and computers
Shut Down
Definitely to be avoided. In our case, shut down is DEATH. You can't press a button to reboot and start mugging again.
Screensaver mode
Several teachers have started using this term. This term describes mild stoning in classes. The commonly agreed method to rouse the student is to "shake the mouse" or hold the student's hand like a computer mouse and shake it a little.
Standby Mode
If left undisturbed, the student may sleep into a deeper trance, known as Standby mode. They are even harder to wake then. Instead of mild facial activity, like a morphing 3D shape, their faces are blank. However, they are not asleep yet.
Low Power
This is when students feel sleepy in lectures. They will see a little bubble at the corner of their vision that looks like the above*. Shaking their head or stretching or pinching, etc. may make the bubble go away, but not the cause. They will keep dozing off as the bubble keeps popping up, until...
Hibernation Mode
There is critical battery. Then, their bodies force hibernate themselves to prevent further power loss. Hibernation is performed daily in the act of sleeping each night, but occasionally they have not charged enough, and this results in low power alerts during lectures. A way to remove the hibernation mode is for a friend to plug in his/her finger into the student's side, sending a temporary transfer of energy to them.
Program is not responding
This often occurs during tutorials, or tests, or exams. Made to run several process at once, if they get stuck on a tough question, their brain may overheat if made to run through it over and over again. This results in a program crash. They will then have to skip it and attempt it later, if there is time.
*- The black bar at the bottom of the screen is the mental MP3 player student sometimes love to turn on in lectures. It can play a particularly annoying song over and over again e.g. Crazy Frog, or play a selection of favourite songs. It is not recommended to start singing along in lectures, however.
