recently, i have spotted a very horrifying virus in our school! it is called the pandatakydus (taky is there as i was the one who discovered it). do watch out my fellow muggers!
this virus is very very deadly. it causes you to have huge, dark circles that rings your eyes and make you positively look like a panda. and you will feel a supreme sense of lethargy and fatigue in your muscles and accompanied by the slowing down of your brain and deproving memory.
my dear dear muggers! take note! do not let this deadly virus get you! if symptoms start to appear, start to sleep more! eat more! rest more! pretend to be sick and skip physical education lessons(even typing the name is tiring!), or in more commonly known as PE lessons. if you dont, you might really end up crumpling into a pile of lifeless heap of knowledge in the midst of the mugger jc!
don't let it get you! be warned! be warned! an be prepared against it! erect your sleeping shields! put up your resting mechanisms!
and if you realise that your symptoms are chronic, take heed, cut down on all caffeine intakes before it is too late! (sweets are good substitutes. and they taste much better too.)
now, for your hardworking lecturer to turn in and attempt to erase the chronic dark rings around her eyes... ... wish me luck.
You do not want to take H2 Math in hell. This is why. (And its not just because easy topics such as functions are left out)
-Partial Bodily Fractions
You will be split up according to the different components of your lower body.
-Trickonometry
The art of trickery, deceit and lies. You'll be forced to use your skills on yourself.
-Grafting Techniques
Skin grafts. Without anasthetic.
-The Binomial Theorem of Doom
Expansion of anatomy.
-Arithmetic/Geometric Funeral Procession
Crushed by an endless stream of numbers (if procession goes to infinity)
-Mathematical Illduction
Illness that starts on your little toe and quickly spreads to the rest of your body. Symptoms include having numbers and letters on the skin.
-Recurrence Relation of Horror
The most embarassing moments of your life are played over and over again, while the denizens of the underworld munch on popcorn. And watch.
-Summation Notation and Method of Indifference
Pain. Lots of it added up. And no one can hear you.
-Vectors
Fancy yourself being stretched(line) and/or flattened(plane) across 4 and a half dimensions at the same time, and breaking the space-time continuum. Let's not forget the squiggly lines under your eyes(i) and under you(u). No v though.
-Techniques&Application of Differentiation
dLIVER
ouch?
-Maclaurin's Series
We're pretty sure this has something do do with combining Math and Macdonalds food. We're just not sure what. Would you like f(x) with that?
-Techniques&Application of Integration
This is where they undo what they did to you earlier in differentiation.
-Demonic Equations
If you fail to solve the equation, the letters will transform into demons and inflict the most unimaginable pain upon you. If you solve the equation they'll inflict the most unimaginable pain upon you anyway.
-P and C, Pain and Crying
Need we say more?
-Statistics
Will be discussed later on when we find out what the hell Poisson was smoking when he said that "Life is only good for doing mathematics and thinking about mathematics." Or something along those lines. We're not sure but we guess it may have been crystal meth, crack, or maybe weed. =]
[Just a joke, no offense to the memory of the great and wonderful Siméon Denis Poisson, who obviously loved mathematics very, very, much.]
Physical Education Advance Level Examinations The H1 PE ‘A’ Levels examinations are here! Yet, not many of us are fully aware of what the syllabus comprises. Hence this government public service announcement was designed to educate students on this little known subject. The H1 PE ‘A’ Levels examinations is a yearly examination that all students must take during their course of study in a Junior College. It is a subject which teaches and demands more in-depth skills that is based on what was previously taught in the PE ‘O’ Levels examinations and PE PSLE. Because of its long name, it is usually shortened by teachers and students alike to The NAPFA Test, or also the National Abolishment of Poor Fitness in ‘A’ students. This examination was conceived by a faceless unknown government beaurecrat in response to claims that the education system focused too much on education, and would produce a generation of super-smart, super-intelligent pale-faced weak nerds. This examination comes in 6 sections. Namely the Sit and Reach, the Standing Board Jump, Shuttle Run, Sit Ups, the 2.40 ( to 3 S.F.) km run and the option section, Pull Ups. Students are expected to demonstrate their proficiency at physical activities AND their SPA skills. For example, when doing the shuttle run, they are required to finish it in less than 10.4 seconds (boys timing) and then go to the teacher and state that: Limitation: Using the stopwatch is in an inaccurate way to record the timing for each run as there may be human error involved in the starting and stopping of the stopwatch. Improvement: Use a light gate at the start line. When the student starts, the light gate will be triggered and triggered a second time when he finishes the race. This will ensure greater accuracy in the recording of the time period. Other examples are the recitation of aerobic and anaerobic respiration during the 2.40 (to 3 S.F.) km run by biology students and the explanation of projectile motion by Physics students when doing the standing broad jump. This fusion of science and sport ensures that
Have you seen these cool decals on cars before? Have you ever wished to have one but don't have a car? No worries! just save the pic below and you can use it as your MSN display picture.
Also, we are introducing the new design below which will do away with the old "muggers are geeky uncool people" stereotype with this super snazzy Muggin Power design. This can be used as a great display picture too! Get one for your car (or bag or file) today!
We all know water is a polar substance. This means it has a small amount of positivity/negativity. As seen in the diagram below, the O atom is slightly negative, and the H atoms are slightly positive. Labels: non-polar bears
Hence, water is a polar solvent. Polar substances disolve/dissociate in polar solvents. Water is different from benzene. Benzene is non-polar.
The ring of delocalised electrons make it non-polar. Er. Somehow. I think. Ok that's enough, let's move on now.
Unfortunately, as you can see in the above two diagrams, "polar" bears love water. They swim in it, play around, catch fish. BUT why don't they dissolve in water if they are polar? Hence, we at Mugalomaniac have decided to start a Save the Non-Polar Bear Campaign so as to alert the public and to make others aware of the fact that polar bears are actually, non-polar.
Our goal is to change the world and scientific community's naming of polar bears into non-polar bears to be more scienticifally accurate. You can support the SNPBC by making a small donation to Mugalomaniac, or buying a SNPBC badge or collar pin from us at $2 and $1 respectively. All proceeds will go to the SNPBC fund. SNPBC is a non-governmental organisation with no political affiliations. SNPBC also would like to assure potential and future contributors and volunteers that our bathroom fixtures are 100% pure stainless steel.
To prove our cause, SNPBC also produced a recent video of us dipping a polar bear into benzene to demonstrate that "polar" bears are non-polar. Since polar substances dissolve in polar solvents, and non-polar substances dissolve in non-polar solvents, you can imagine what happened in the video. (Truth is somehow Photoshop was screwing up my last drawing stupidly. =.=)
[The author/artist would like to apologise for the lack of quality (if any) in these few pictures. He would like to state he is more used to drawing stick figures, and has tried to make the "polar" bear cute already.]
Inspired by a true joke.
On my visit to library, i chanced upon a whole community of JC1 students within the library. This is my report:
Date: 26th March 2007
Time: 9.35AM
Even before entry, i saw this. It was like a carnage minus the blood. Bags EVERYWHERE. On the shelves, the floors, on each other! See those two there as they desperately find their bags, lost amidst the other bags, buried and waiting to be found.
It started on the first floor. All around me, I see hunched backs as they fervently read through whatever little notes they've gotten over the past few days.
As I moved to the second floor, the situation got worst. Tables filled with Meridians EVERYWHERE. One thing is certain, our tables are not safe anymore.
And I chanced upon this: an empty table! For once, maybe salvation is still possible. An empty table means that not ALL JC1s are already mugging. This might be a good sign. Maybe there is still hope for our younger generation.
Another empty table! I see the light! Oh, wait, those are from the windows.
The chatter that our junior batch generated while discussing about the most important educational issues even attracted the chief librarian. Here she is, trying to calm our younger generation down as they continued to debate over certain important issues of our lives such as the Mole.
Ah, it's nice seeing a JC2 mug instead. At least the JC1s aren't taking away all the fun from us. Maybe their influence is going onto us.
While busy trying to this undercover report, I came across one JC1 who only wanted to be known as CY. Taking this chance, I wanted to interview her on her thoughts of the current situation. This is what we exchanged:
Benedict: "Hi, what's is up with all this mugging? Do you think it truely is beneficial?"
CY: "Go away, mugging is important and vital. Do not disturb my peace here."
That says it all.
I was lucky to have made it out alive seeing that I was carrying a book on biology and could have been attacked by muggers for having such a prized possesion on me. I was lucky, indeed I am. With that, I take my leave.
Lalalala, lalalala,
Mugger song
lalalala, lalalala,
Mugger song
lalala, lalalala~~
lalala, lalalala~~
I love to mug, i love to mug
Mugger song
Mugggggeeerrr sooonnggg~~~~!! ^^
Just to show how much everything disintegrates into mugger stuff after you mug too hard.
P.s. I was doing H2 econs! NOOO!
Hi all! Sorry for the wait, but Plastic Muggers is back! I had this idea some time ago, but didn't have itme to finish it due to the blockies. Now that they're over... Labels: plastic muggers
What makes the earth go round? Maybe some of you have asked this question before. Well, we decided to ask this question to a few muggers, since they are probably more knowledgable than most of us, so here are their answers.
Economics Mugger:
Money makes the world go round. Duh. Dude, you still owe me twenty thousand dollars for landing on my 4 hotels and 5 houses last Friday during our Monopoly game!
GP Mugger:Ours is a world that goes round and round. This essay will seek to prove that the earth rotates about on its axis, as seen in several videos taken from space, which are incontrovertible proof of the long-held notion that our earth spins. However, some same say these videos are merely computer generated special effects from NASA, and that the earth actually stands still and is flat, since the ground they walk on is flat and that they don't see the sky spinning around them-hey are you still listening? I haven't rebutted the opposing vie-
I am ineligible to make a joke about GP muggers since I failed GP. Hah.
Lit Mugger:
As seen in the first verse, the author takes a questioning tone which may represent a lack of comprehension or understanding, and may seek to convey that he is on a quest for knowledge and may be representative of the difficult situation he is in right now, at the beginning of a long journey...hey leaving so fast? I haven't completed my analysis...
Chem Mugger:
Once upon a time there was a massive exothermic explosion on one side of the earth, and POOF it caused entire wheatfields to be soaked with chocolate and provided the driving force to spin the earth round and round and round and round...
Geog Mugger:
The volcanos in the Pacific Ring of Fire act like thrusters, and because they once all blew up simultanelously in the past like FOOOOOOOOOOM-KABOOOM-POWBANG GRAAAAAAH-BLAIOUGH-[unintelligible noises]-so that provides the proof that this is how the earth spins. It concurs with the chem mugger you interviewed. *Gives chem mugger thumbs up and winks*
Math Mugger:
Let D represent the displacement of a fixed point on the earth after a certain time
Let t represent time
Let R represent the rotation of the earth
dD/dt = R where R,t, and D are all real numbers.
By using differential equations,
ARGH!
[Thump]
What-NO! Stop! Please! This was supposed to be an interview- ahhh please no!
[Cracks, crunches]
NO! NOOOOOOO!!! HELP! HELP ME PLEASEEEEEE PLEASEEEE STOP!!!
[Final thump, splattering, sound of heavy breathing.]
-A new interviewer was hired at this point.-
Bio Mugger:
Rotation huh? Okayyy...hmm. Well the earth contains many populations of humans and animals, so maybe the unevenness of population density causes a tilt in the earth's axis and also provides power for the spin like wheeeeeee...
KI Mugger:
Earth. What is the earth? How do you know the earth exists? How do you know WE exist? How do you know you exist?
[Suppressed shriek of pain]
Rotation. Roe-tay-shun. How do you know what rotation is? Can you say the earth rotates? Have you seen it yourself? How do you know that it may not be some centuries old conspiracy? How do you know you know things anyway? Have you have to have experienced them yourself?
[Faint moan from interviewer]
Why does roe-tay-shun have to be spelt that way? Why do we follow this rule? Why can't it be spelt asovlgm? What is the sound of one hand clapping? If a tree falls in a forest and noone is there to hear it does it make a sound?
-At this point, the second interviewer's brain imploded, turning them into a Ghost Mugger. As we had run out of funds, the interviews ended here.-
