Attention Sec 4 students! The new year is coming in a few months! Still unsure about which JC to pick? Why not Mugland? Here's a reason why:
Do you know that Mugland is one of the most environmentally friendly schools in Singapore? Yes! We take many measures to ensure we save as much resources as possible! Here are a couple of methods we do so. We share them with you in the hope that you may adopt them also.
[Mugalo Note: The following two methods are real and actual authentic methods used by Mugland]
1. Turn on the air-conditioning only when the Lecture Theatre(LT) is opened, and as students are filing in.
We can cut down on a lot of energy by turning on the air conditioning only when the students enter the LT. Who wants to waste money on cooling down a closed room locked up for the past 12 hours or more with nobody inside? Wait till there are students within, then turn it on. Energy saved! Packing 600 plus students into an enclosed area may raise the temperature slightly but the air conditioning will catch up in about half an hour or so. We have received some letters from the Red Cross and human rights groups, but we would like to assure the public that the students are very happy with this plan and have even petitioned for no air conditioning to be used at all during lectures. This proves how environmentally conscious our students are! We believe that rapidly packing over 600 students in a warm enclosed area does not violate their human rights in any way. Some students have raised issues about this, but they have been, uh, silenced, I mean dealt with.
2. Turn on lights only in complete darkness
We turn on the lights only at 7pm, when it gets too dark to see. This is logical, because students can't mug in complete darkness. But in semi-darkness, students can still see right? So we don't turn on the lights yet. Some students complain it is difficult to do their work, but they are missing the point. (pun intended, ha-ha!) As long as the text is visible you can still mug, and only in total darkness do we help them. This, of course applies to our Atrium, a popular mugging spot. In fact, some students have petitioned to dim the lights to save electricity also, as they believe they can mug in dim conditions. They state that even though it is bad for the eyes, and some need to make new spectacles, they do not mind since it is them who are spending over $100 a few months, and saving money for the school. Another example of our environmentally conscious students. In fact, do you know we actually turn on the toilet lights on BEFORE the atrium lights? This is because we don't want the students to slip, fall, and sue us.
Actual pictures of Method 2 in action:
A mugger in action in the dark, resourcefully using his phone as a source of illumination. Picture enhanced by Night Mode.
As you can see, you can still see the paper against the table, which indicates a state of semi or incomplete darkness, and does NOT warrant the turning on of lights in the Atrium.
Method 2 in action!
Mugland is also considering holding a 24-hours non-stop "live" concert to raise awareness about global warming. All the 42 student-formed bands in the school will be taking part! It will be called Mug24 and the music they play will be transmitted over the school system and amplifiers around the school, along with a non-stop party going on in the hall with lights and food! The school will be open to the public for these 24 hours so the message of stopping global warming will be spread.
Furthermore, next year, Mugland will also be holding a french fry, hotdog, hamburger, and steak eating contest simultaneously to raise awareness for world hunger. Admittance to both events is free, and the aim is to let others know more about these two worthy causes. There may also be a a student-organised moneylight vigil to raise awareness about poverty in other countries. What's a moneylight vigil? Similar to that of candlelight, in this case we will be burning money and staying awake to make a stand against world poverty. Each participant is required to bring 20 $5 notes to take part in the burning.
Labels: songs remugged
You're way too difficult, test
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these difficult tests
They'll only make you do your worst
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over
Verse 1:
See it started at the park
Used to mug before dark
Oh when you took my heart
That's when we fell apart
Coz we both thought
That muggin' lasts forever (lasts forever)
They say we're too young
To get ourselves sprung
Oh we didn't care
We made it very clear
And they also said
That we couldn't mug together (mug together)
Refrain:
See it's very defined, girl
You're one of a kind
But you mush up my mind
You make my marks decline
Oh Lord...
My baby is driving me crazy
Chorus:
You're way too difficult, test
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these difficult tests
They'll only make you do your worst
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over
Verse 2:
It was back in '99
We were mugging all the time
Oh when I went away
For failin' my first test
And I never thought
That we was gonna see each other (see each other)
And then I came out
Mummy moved me to Sengkang
Oh I'm with my girl
Who I thought was my world
It came out to be
That she wouldn't mug with me (mug with me)
Refrain:
See it's very defined, girl
You're one of a kind
But you mush up my mind
You make my marks decline
Oh Lord...
My baby is driving me crazy
Chorus:
You're way too difficult, test
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these difficult tests
They only make you do your worst
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over
Verse 3:
Now we're muggin'
And now we're fightin'
Please tell me why
I'm feelin' stupid
And I don't know
How to make it better (make it better)
You're muggin' with other guys
You're tellin' me lies
Oh I can't believe
What I'm seein' with my eyes
I'm losin' my mind
And I don't think it's clever (think it's clever)
You're way too difficult, test
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal, suicidal...
Anyone heard the news a couple of days ago? They're building a new JC! Its said to be based on the popular and highly successful business model of the Singapore economy. It's goal is also to be one of the top institutions, like Singapore herself is one of the most developed countries. The new JC will encompass many new designs and initiatives, to be further elaborated on... Labels: Singapore Junior College
A Clean and Green Environment
The campus will be constructed on a large plot of land specially set aside for this purpose. Greenery and nature will be a key part of the design, and is also symbolic of Singapore's clean and green nature. Nature will be prominent in this architecture, and the buildings will be pure white, as is the school uniform, to signify purity and a fount of clear knowledge. The grounds will involve sculpted gardens and recreational grounds for students to relax.
Quick and Efficient Transport System
There are paths linking all the buildings together, but the size of the campus also means students will need a quick and effective transport system to get around campus quickly. This resulted in the production of the MST (Mass Student Transit system), a series of underground light trains connecting block to block. This is the first time an educational system has implemented a transport plan of such detail. Operation is contracted to an external contractor, possibly, Super Transport Service (STS). To offset the cost, the students will pay for a trip using their EZ-link card, or buy a on-campus concession card. The price will be determined by the operator and linked to external prices, so a ride from Block Academic Excellence to Block Economic Growth may cost $0.45 or or more.
Alternative Transport
For more well-off students, they may purchase a bicycle from the school. However, only proper school-approved and licensed bicycles are allowed to be ridden on campus. Failure to do so may result in a impound or fine. The school offers a wide variety of 2 wheeled pure white bicycles for transport. This is so approved bicycles can be distinguished. They are sold at market prices, but to prevent possible congestion of the bicycle paths, they will impose a compulsory COE bidding system and bicycle path tax on purchases.
Traffic Management
Some area of schools may experience congestion at certain times, so the management has adapted an ingenious system to regulate human traffic flow. They will be installing EZ-link Deduction Point (EDP) gantries at the entrances to the school hall and canteen. They will be activated at peak hours such at assembly, and recess or lunch breaks. The gantrys deduct $1 from each EZ-link card that passes through it. Students who wish to park at the centeen also have to purchase a season parking ticket.
When interviewed, a school official said:"We hope to reduce the severe bottlenecks and blockages we often see in today's schools, resulting in a great deal of wasted time. This means our students have less time to get back to their lessons and every second wasted is a second we do not push forwards our aggregate supply curve. If that doesn't solve the problem, we'll just keep raising and raising it because we know sooner or later, we'll hit a magic price at which everything will be solved. [smiles] And we hope that by imposing a $1 EDP charge on entering the canteen,students will feel the opportunity of cost of going to a bench to study is more attractive."
High Tech Campus
Everything on campus can be paid for using EZ-link, including toilet paper(which has to be purchased from the toilet attendants at $1 a roll.) Food comes from the finest gourmet chefs, as is the policy for providing the best for its students. Food prices will also include the GST of the current year, to offset costs. Wi-Fi access is available anywhere on campus, and enables students to download information at up to 1GB/s. One minute spent online will cost 20 cents, a small price to pay for downloading information from Wikipedia at 0.00000000001ms. Connections are monitored of course, and any student attempting to download anime will be referred to the Organisation of Destruction and Economic Xtermination of Illegal Anime Downloaders (ODEXIAD). Internet bills and fines are charged to their school fees.
Recreational Facilities
Like any other institution, the school has its own track and field, squash/badminton/basketball/street soccer/netball courts. It has facilities for almost every sport, including a 12 lane bowling alley, and a small lake for watersports, such as wakeboarding and canoeing. The school also has built two Integrated Rooms (IRs) in different areas of the school. They are fully air-conditioned and have facilities for studying, such as soundproof cubicles with tables and chairs for solo or group studying. They are integrated with facilities for relaxation, such as 4 Xbox 360 consoles, 4 PS3 consoles, 4 PCs, 4 iMacs, sofas and a pool table. Consoles and computers of different makes are in separate rooms to prevent disputes between students. However, as students are not encouraged to slack, entry into the room for its students includes a $2 levy, which is not applied to students from other institutions.
Innovative and Revolutionary ideas.
The school is also installing televisions tuned to Channel NewsAsia to help students with their General Paper, and there will be a large digital screen on the canteen showing the day, date, time, temperature, humidity, no. of days to the next schoolwide test, no. of days to the A levels, names of failures, and the current GST rate, so that students can keep updated at all times, and the stallholders can change their prices accordingly.
Another simple but highly effective scheme is the CMF, or Central Mark Fund. For every major schoolwide test, 20% of each student's score will go to the CMF. This means that if they score 60, their recorded score will be 48. This will help to encourage students to do better as they know success is not easy. Students may withdraw marks from the CMF, but the eligibility criteria are they they must be doing acceptably in school at first(originally at 55 marks, this was deemed too low a standard, and raised to 62, then 65 marks), and have one of two tests which scores need improvement. Students which do badly are not eligible as they do not have enough merit.
Another scheme is known as the Compulsory Annuity Mark Scheme(CAMS). Students must donate a total of 10 marks from each schoolwide test to CAMS. CAMS is unique in that only in the second year can it be used. It is a safety net in case students run out of CMF marks. Students who fail to make it to the second year will have their marks donated to those who do. These marks can be used to boost their scores also.
The arrival of this brand new institution is bound to make waves in the local education scene when it debuts here in a few years time. Keep an eye out for success, it just may be around the corner...
DISCLAIMER:This is 100% humor, no malice intended. I was simply thinking one day, what if I could condense the entire of Singapore into a JC? What would I get, and this idea sprung forth. In the worst case, it is to all extents and purposes a harmless spoof of the little gripes everyone has, like ERP, CPF, and whatnot. But I'm sure deep down inside we all know they're good for us. Right? =] Some ideas contributed by tak.
Some of you probably have heard of it on the tagboard. It's out a little late for the A's, (a little...=P) but I'm sure you'll all find it useful next year, J1s. Anyway, backstory is, I was trying to sleep one night, and them the spark of an idea blossomed. (They always do that...when I'm trying to sleep. =D) So I grabbed a pen, which was very easy since the table I mug on is next to my bed, some paper from the same table, and scribbled everything down. (Don't you think its creepy everything you use to mug is within arm's reach from your bed since you mug next to it? =X)
Brushed it up a little, and on 31 Oct, I got together with the rest of the Mugalomaniac, and we sent this out on a campaign to everyone we could in a bid to see if we would get it back. Sadly, we didn't. But it was worth a try. Either way, this is what keeps our spirits high through this difficult period. Good luck to all muggers out there on the final stretch! For those who are wondering what the message contains, here it is! The official second release of the Mugger's Prayer, free for public distribution. Spread the love, let your friends know you care! Fits nicely into 2 smses! (For me. =])
Dear Heaven,
Tonight I pray
that tomorrow is my lucky day.
May the questions I know how to do,
come out in papers 1 and 2.
May the formulas I remember,
stay in my head this November.
But most of all what I want-
.
.
.
Is free answers the rest of this month!
None can deny the sense of triumph after mugging overnight, yet hardly is there on who will not feel the fatigue and heavy eyelids syndrome that comes with it. All overnight muggers know that. So here is a song, remugged of course, for all you overnight muggers out there. Labels: songs remugged
As We Mug, to the tune of Friendship Dance
As we...
Mug in the day,
As we mug in the night,
As we mug, as we mug, as we mug all night!
With a nod and a shake we will mug all day,
With a nod and a shake we will mug away!
Happy mugging and all the best for the As for the poor tormented ones who are still slogging away!
I am not much of an artist. By my own admission, what I drew in secondary school sucked. But, I like my doodles. For some reason they always turn out okay, and people have said my doodles are pretty amusing. =] This may not the the closest thing to "art" as it is most commonly recognised, but it proabably is the best I can "draw". =D
I was doodling the other day at Macs, contemplating the problems many ODMC(Not ODAC, but OutDoor Mugging Club) muggers face, the problem of eviction from the premises. The numerous proud and pompous adults who scorn and scoff at us, thinking it is very easy to survive in the education system. They huff and puff and complain about us, and look at us disdainfully. Yet, some of them bring their own children down to the same fast food outlet to make them do their work too.
I think of what I want to do to them, and then I come across a solution. Why not create a NEW superhero? A dark hero, one who protects the rights of muggers, but through unorthodox means. One who can do whatever he wants to them because it is all on paper. One who has no limits. One who is...Kyrios, Dark angel of the Muggers.
He is an angel by the way he champions the rights of muggers, but yet the means he uses are questionable. He is the new antihero(?) He has a dark past himself, a conflicted and tortured soul pushed to the edge, whereupon he discovers his true potential.
WARNING! The following images may shock or horrify you. These doodles are done in two colours only. Black. And RED. If you are disgusted by the sight of stick figure dismemberment and blood splatters, it is advised to skip this post. Viewer discretion is advised. Um. We try to keep Mugalomaniac as clean as possible. So...feedback? If Kyrios is okay with everyone, I may continue posting. This is...just to test the waters?
[You may want to click the images to view the larger versions. Doodles are meant to be small so...]
The intended first episode.
The full A4 paper, and an insight into how I work? Some stuff contributed by taky.
Oh yeah I apologise for my handwriting...haha. It's just like that...
Labels: Doodles
Having been through and witnessed the worst of what mugging can do to you, we've developed a few safety precautions for you guys to follow in case you find yourself in a dangerous situation, such as sanity loss or over-stress. These few simple steps could very well help you to save your life and/or your mind. Or rather...not. Labels: Everyday Guide To
Here's our Everyday Guide to Basic Mugging Safety.
