Mugalomaniac.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Math Topics from Hell

You do not want to take H2 Math in hell. This is why. (And its not just because easy topics such as functions are left out)

-Partial Bodily Fractions
You will be split up according to the different components of your lower body.

-Trickonometry
The art of trickery, deceit and lies. You'll be forced to use your skills on yourself.

-Grafting Techniques
Skin grafts. Without anasthetic.

-The Binomial Theorem of Doom
Expansion of anatomy.

-Arithmetic/Geometric Funeral Procession
Crushed by an endless stream of numbers (if procession goes to infinity)

-Mathematical Illduction
Illness that starts on your little toe and quickly spreads to the rest of your body. Symptoms include having numbers and letters on the skin.

-Recurrence Relation of Horror
The most embarassing moments of your life are played over and over again, while the denizens of the underworld munch on popcorn. And watch.

-Summation Notation and Method of Indifference
Pain. Lots of it added up. And no one can hear you.

-Vectors
Fancy yourself being stretched(line) and/or flattened(plane) across 4 and a half dimensions at the same time, and breaking the space-time continuum. Let's not forget the squiggly lines under your eyes(i) and under you(u). No v though.

-Techniques&Application of Differentiation
dYOU
dLIVER
ouch?

-Maclaurin's Series
We're pretty sure this has something do do with combining Math and Macdonalds food. We're just not sure what. Would you like f(x) with that?

-Techniques&Application of Integration
This is where they undo what they did to you earlier in differentiation.

-Demonic Equations
If you fail to solve the equation, the letters will transform into demons and inflict the most unimaginable pain upon you. If you solve the equation they'll inflict the most unimaginable pain upon you anyway.

-P and C, Pain and Crying
Need we say more?

-Statistics
Will be discussed later on when we find out what the hell Poisson was smoking when he said that "Life is only good for doing mathematics and thinking about mathematics." Or something along those lines. We're not sure but we guess it may have been crystal meth, crack, or maybe weed. =]

[Just a joke, no offense to the memory of the great and wonderful Siméon Denis Poisson, who obviously loved mathematics very, very, much.]

Lecture delivered at 12:05 AM by -=[K]=-